Happy Marriages or Horrible Homes

 

 

"Ye must be born again." Will you obey or disobey?

"Do not steal." Will you obey or disobey?

"Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Will you obey or disobey?

"Wife see that you reverence her husband." Will you obey or disobey?

1 Peter 3:1-6 “Likewise (like servants to a master, like Jesus suffered willing yet wrongfully for our sin), ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (lifestyle, behavior) of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.  Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning ...; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.  For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”

 I know these verses seem very strange to the modern, feminist, American woman, but these are God’s instructions to us.  Are we going to blaspheme God by supposing we know better than God?  Are we going to blaspheme God by believing the world’s ways are superior to God’s ways?  After all, who is the “god” of this world? Satan. That's who.

When we women try to “take charge” or “be in control” of our marriages because our husbands aren’t as spiritual as us or as smart as us or as polite as us or as (fill in the blank) as us, then we are acting just like Satan.  “...I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.” (Isaiah 14:13-14). God put the man in charge (Ephesians 5:23).  This was not to hurt us or to put us down but to actually protect us. Why? Because of our nature, we are easily deceived, just as Eve was in the garden (1 Timothy 2:14). It is our place to be under the man, just like it was Lucifer’s place to be under God.  But Lucifer wasn’t satisfied and rebelled.  That is exactly what we do when we try to take the lead in our marriage.  We are in rebellion to God and acting just like Satan.  So, are we going to obey God or behave as Satan?

In Debi Pearl's book titled Created To Be His Help Meet, Debi writes, "Obedience is doing what you know the other person wants you to do. Submission is your heart giving over to the other person’s will. Reverence is more than just doing what a man expects or demands.  It is an act of the woman’s will to treat him with a high degree of regard and awe."

Our husbands are not perfect, yet we are still to obey, submit, and reverence, no matter if your wedding vows left out any of those words. We women want our men to love us unconditionally just like God commands them to do.  The same thing is expected of us - UNCONDITIONAL reverence.  By obeying God, we show His love and cover a multitude of sins (Proverbs 10:12, 1 Peter 4:8).

Pearl continues, "The difference between a good marriage and a lousy one is not found in good husbands and good wives verses bad husbands and bad wives, for all marriages are made up of two sinners with lot of faults.  A good marriage is good because one or both of them have learned to overlook the other’s faults, to the other as he or she is and to not attempt to change the other or bring him or her to repentance.  A bad marriage is not one that contains more faults between the two of them; it is a marriage where one or both of them gets worked up over issues that good marriage partners let slide and cover up with love and forgiveness.  When a woman gets it in her mind that she must change her husband before she will allow him to relax in the security of her honor and respect, she will never see so much as the bottom side of a good marriage,... ."
 

Below are listed 3 simple suggestions that can help us have “good” marriages:

1. Smile at our husbands.

2. Tell them how much we appreciate them and respect them.

3. Meditate on the good things that our husbands have done for us and our families. (I say meditate because we have a tendency to think over and over and over in our minds on the “negative”. We have done so much “practicing” of negative thinking that we must consciously “practice” thinking the positive thoughts to undo our negative thinking habits.  This is possible.  In fact, God commands that we control our thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:5, Philippians 4:8)
 

By writing this, I am not suggesting that I have personally mastered all of this.  I am, though, actively working on these things.  Unfortunately, many Christian woman either don’t care what God has said in His word, have given up, or have become comfortable in their sin.  Let us determine anew to obey the Bible in these matters.  Let us actively strive to be what God has commanded us to be.